The Swishing, Oh the swishing, the sounds of spoons and forks clonking and clinging on glass -- MAKE IT STOP!!
At dinner last night I came the drastic realization I was not from the SOUTH! You see, down here there is a special drink that all LIVE on! It is called sweet tea. It is basically Iced Tea made with LOTS and lots of Sugar and the people down here kill for it!
At our banquest last night, the beverage offerings were water and tea. A very usual offering, and on every table -- being the in the south -- were lots and lots of sugar packets for all to use! Needless to say every southerner positioned around myself came back with tea and 4-7 sugar packets for their 6 ounce glass --IKES!
While that was not an issue, everytime they went to take a sip of their sugar tea, (because now it really is more sugar than liquid, they would have to swirl the sugar around with their eating utensil. Leaving me to suffer the clanking, clinging, and annoying sounds of metal on glass all night long!
I have decided that when eating in the south, take the time to make their DAMN sweet tea, or just serve water! Please??
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Lord Anyone??
Have you ever been to those dinners or banquets where a special person or the guest of honor says grace? Or ever heard a prayer that goes on and on?
Last night I attended an awards banquet where grace was said. I am not a very religious person, but the prayer was nice and everyone had a great meal and social time. However, before the end of every sentance and here and there inbetween -- the word "lord" popped up ALL the time.
Do you think if you say it a million times during the prayer that you will finally get the "lords" attention. I bet if you would have counted it ( I only thoguht of this halfway through the prayer or I would have....) there would have been 30 or so "L" words before the end of the 30 second long prayer.
Kinda Wierd Huh? I have decided that If I really need someones attention from now on I will repeat their name several times within my conversation. I am surely not going to forget their name! I have decided to test this theory personally---I can see it now -- job interview...
Well Jeff, I think I would be an excellent candidate for this job, Jeff, only because, Jeff, I know I am motivated, hard working, and Jeff, I am very flexible and dedicated. This job, Jeff, needs an employeee, Jeff, that is willing to be flexible, dedicated, and Jeff -- optimistic. Jeff, It would be awful, Jeff, if you hired someone who couldn't handle the stress, or even the work, Jeff. For these reasons, Jeff, I think I am your ultimate candidate, and Jeff, I really want this job. Do you, Jeff, Have any other questions for me, Jeff?
Can you visualize the prayer now?
Last night I attended an awards banquet where grace was said. I am not a very religious person, but the prayer was nice and everyone had a great meal and social time. However, before the end of every sentance and here and there inbetween -- the word "lord" popped up ALL the time.
Do you think if you say it a million times during the prayer that you will finally get the "lords" attention. I bet if you would have counted it ( I only thoguht of this halfway through the prayer or I would have....) there would have been 30 or so "L" words before the end of the 30 second long prayer.
Kinda Wierd Huh? I have decided that If I really need someones attention from now on I will repeat their name several times within my conversation. I am surely not going to forget their name! I have decided to test this theory personally---I can see it now -- job interview...
Well Jeff, I think I would be an excellent candidate for this job, Jeff, only because, Jeff, I know I am motivated, hard working, and Jeff, I am very flexible and dedicated. This job, Jeff, needs an employeee, Jeff, that is willing to be flexible, dedicated, and Jeff -- optimistic. Jeff, It would be awful, Jeff, if you hired someone who couldn't handle the stress, or even the work, Jeff. For these reasons, Jeff, I think I am your ultimate candidate, and Jeff, I really want this job. Do you, Jeff, Have any other questions for me, Jeff?
Can you visualize the prayer now?
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall....
I have a few things to admit....
1. I am shy -- always will be -- until you get to know me....
2. I have never been skinny -- got close a few years ago ...
3. I am now attempting to get skinny again....
On that note, I must now brag upon myself. I have lost 19 pounds and in my excitement I have taken up gazing at my physique in the mirror. I never really understood the vanity of looking in the mirror all the time to check your makeup (not that I wear any) or how your outfit looks daily. Now, however, I enjoy checking out my nakedness in the mirror when I get out of the shower. (Usually in the form of me in my cute underwear -- the roomie is present)
I will try to keep this post -- out of the "naughty" area, but I like it! In front of my mirror this week I made the most astonishing ralization -- I have calf muscle outline. You know where your calf meets the shin -- the toned line it creates when your leg flexes? -- I GOT ONE!! In part I am sure to the Advanced Hunt Seat class I am taking this semester -- but still -- Yay!!
Now, I must also apologise to all those who would like to see my newfound muscle. I am not a girl who you will EVER see in shorts, skirts, or a dress -- (Oh god forbid!) I prefer my jeans and t-shirts and that is just that. Se when you see me, just imagine how HOT my new improved leg musles must look and smile. Becuase unless you catch me at the pool -- your not even getting a hint of what is hiding beneath!
1. I am shy -- always will be -- until you get to know me....
2. I have never been skinny -- got close a few years ago ...
3. I am now attempting to get skinny again....
On that note, I must now brag upon myself. I have lost 19 pounds and in my excitement I have taken up gazing at my physique in the mirror. I never really understood the vanity of looking in the mirror all the time to check your makeup (not that I wear any) or how your outfit looks daily. Now, however, I enjoy checking out my nakedness in the mirror when I get out of the shower. (Usually in the form of me in my cute underwear -- the roomie is present)
I will try to keep this post -- out of the "naughty" area, but I like it! In front of my mirror this week I made the most astonishing ralization -- I have calf muscle outline. You know where your calf meets the shin -- the toned line it creates when your leg flexes? -- I GOT ONE!! In part I am sure to the Advanced Hunt Seat class I am taking this semester -- but still -- Yay!!
Now, I must also apologise to all those who would like to see my newfound muscle. I am not a girl who you will EVER see in shorts, skirts, or a dress -- (Oh god forbid!) I prefer my jeans and t-shirts and that is just that. Se when you see me, just imagine how HOT my new improved leg musles must look and smile. Becuase unless you catch me at the pool -- your not even getting a hint of what is hiding beneath!
Monday, February 26, 2007
Dear...
Dear People,
I am not responsible for feeling sorry for you if you make a stupid decision. Please do not even ask! Thank you for your cooperation.
I am not responsible for feeling sorry for you if you make a stupid decision. Please do not even ask! Thank you for your cooperation.
Friday, February 23, 2007
I'm Going to Hell....
Well..Not yet anyway, but today I about made my debut even closer.
Let me replay it really slowly -- I was driving to feed the mass of ponies at the barn. They are always happy to see me. The sounds they make cause me go giggle as their hunger can only be cured by ME! Love it!
Got in the car, let it warm up, the sun is shining -- BAM -- There are ROTC guys running -- and there is my car slowly running through the campus stop sign! Who runs at 7:00 AM -- Really?
I think their only savior was the reflective band they were wearing like a Miss America banner. Kinda makes you giggle -- comparing the ROTC guys to Miss America...
So, I got to thinking about this as I was stopped, kinda in their way, and not causing any injuries.... If I would have hit them is it like killing a soldier? Do I get a straight ticket to hell? What is ROTC? I think it is kinda like military training right?? I only decided that hell must be the destination because I am sure that god reserves a special spot for certain people (ie..soldiers, humanitarians, social work couselors, children, pets) and I am also pretty sure he has a special downward elevator for those that immediately deserve it (ie...lawyers, politicans, land developers, CEO's, and all who have seen a prison cell..).
So -- If I happened to hit one of these ROTC guys -- does that include me in the straight to hell kind of world. I surely hope not! I didn't realize they were there. Maybe their Miss America Banners need to make noise or shoot out beams of light -- then I would see them -- and really laugh!
And then back to the original thought -- WHO RUNS AT 7AM!! Go back to Bed!!
Let me replay it really slowly -- I was driving to feed the mass of ponies at the barn. They are always happy to see me. The sounds they make cause me go giggle as their hunger can only be cured by ME! Love it!
Got in the car, let it warm up, the sun is shining -- BAM -- There are ROTC guys running -- and there is my car slowly running through the campus stop sign! Who runs at 7:00 AM -- Really?
I think their only savior was the reflective band they were wearing like a Miss America banner. Kinda makes you giggle -- comparing the ROTC guys to Miss America...
So, I got to thinking about this as I was stopped, kinda in their way, and not causing any injuries.... If I would have hit them is it like killing a soldier? Do I get a straight ticket to hell? What is ROTC? I think it is kinda like military training right?? I only decided that hell must be the destination because I am sure that god reserves a special spot for certain people (ie..soldiers, humanitarians, social work couselors, children, pets) and I am also pretty sure he has a special downward elevator for those that immediately deserve it (ie...lawyers, politicans, land developers, CEO's, and all who have seen a prison cell..).
So -- If I happened to hit one of these ROTC guys -- does that include me in the straight to hell kind of world. I surely hope not! I didn't realize they were there. Maybe their Miss America Banners need to make noise or shoot out beams of light -- then I would see them -- and really laugh!
And then back to the original thought -- WHO RUNS AT 7AM!! Go back to Bed!!
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Leg Shaving for This.....
When in school and away from any significant other -- is it really necessary to shave your legs? I do it sometimes, just because I am feeling particularly "pretty" that day -- but being a girl who hates her legs and shows them rarely -- is it really necessary to keep them silky smooth for just me? I have decided NO!
You need to be pretty close to this girl to get a hint at all of skin! I wear jeans -- all YEAR long!, I sleep in pants (unless under dire circumstances), and while I do enjoy swimming -- Who really gets a good look at your legs in the water.
(I spend VERY little time not in the water -- trust that!)
While in school -- the most intimate person getting a good view of my legs is the roommate. We have this unspoken love thing going on. I enjoy running around in my towel -- so does she -- not necessarily at the same time.
Now -- I guess I am being kinda critical since I enjoy a cleanly shaved man. There is nothing worse than kissing some scruffy dude -- ICK! I am sure when I end up living with a guy I will have to break out the razor more often -- but right now -- No Way! And come on -- that is all they have to shave! We have to shave so much more!! Can't I be a little lazy?
And realistically -- if you meet some guy at a party and go a bit further than expected -- how many guys do you know that will say NO to sex becuase you didn't shave your legs? None that I know!
Sidenote -- There is never an excuse for not shaving your pits ladies! Do IT!! That is disgusting and takes a whole 2 seconds to do -- so lets not get overly lazy OK?
You need to be pretty close to this girl to get a hint at all of skin! I wear jeans -- all YEAR long!, I sleep in pants (unless under dire circumstances), and while I do enjoy swimming -- Who really gets a good look at your legs in the water.
(I spend VERY little time not in the water -- trust that!)
While in school -- the most intimate person getting a good view of my legs is the roommate. We have this unspoken love thing going on. I enjoy running around in my towel -- so does she -- not necessarily at the same time.
Now -- I guess I am being kinda critical since I enjoy a cleanly shaved man. There is nothing worse than kissing some scruffy dude -- ICK! I am sure when I end up living with a guy I will have to break out the razor more often -- but right now -- No Way! And come on -- that is all they have to shave! We have to shave so much more!! Can't I be a little lazy?
And realistically -- if you meet some guy at a party and go a bit further than expected -- how many guys do you know that will say NO to sex becuase you didn't shave your legs? None that I know!
Sidenote -- There is never an excuse for not shaving your pits ladies! Do IT!! That is disgusting and takes a whole 2 seconds to do -- so lets not get overly lazy OK?
Lack of Motivation....
Last week through the coughing, sore throat, prayers for death, and lack of sleep I managed to get through a whole week without once working out. My body ached, my abs burned from the heaving, and my nose definitly got its' workout in -- but not once did I force my rear end to the gym.
I have been so good this semester!! Turbo-Jammin and Swimmin' -- It's been great!
Now the next week is here and I cannot seem to get there either. While I do not consider myself "healthy" yet, I am definitely able to get a good nights sleep, go to classes, and I am VERY capable of getting my ASS to the gym! Someone please -- hold my hand and get me back to the gym!! I know once I get there all will be well - Poseidon will smile his head and the water will welcome my now "weak" body for a wonderful day of laps, wet, and fun!
My pledge -- this weekend -- me pool -- or no pony! There body, take that!!
I have been so good this semester!! Turbo-Jammin and Swimmin' -- It's been great!
Now the next week is here and I cannot seem to get there either. While I do not consider myself "healthy" yet, I am definitely able to get a good nights sleep, go to classes, and I am VERY capable of getting my ASS to the gym! Someone please -- hold my hand and get me back to the gym!! I know once I get there all will be well - Poseidon will smile his head and the water will welcome my now "weak" body for a wonderful day of laps, wet, and fun!
My pledge -- this weekend -- me pool -- or no pony! There body, take that!!
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
The Spa Thing...
So I was at work yesterday and I got to talking yesterday with one of my horsey work buddies about her day at the spa. The massage she received was apparently top notch and just about had her asleep (for a 1/2 hour massage -- CRIKEY!)
It got me to thinking about this girlie situation. I am not one--If you haven't figured it out yet. About the only really girlie thing I ever do is get my hair cut and while I am there I get me eyebrows waxed (Tweezers and I have huge issues!) I have never set down for a manicure, massage, or body waxing. Not even a pedicure -- which may be wierd (or wonderful) with my foot fetish. (maybe I should try that one first)
So today I got to thinking about all the girly stuff I may consider having done. I have been thinking strongly of this brazilian bikini wax thing. Other than the part where some woman gets real intimate with the "va-jay-jay" area, and maybe a little painful -- I bet it really is awesome. Maybe this summer I will attempt that. (I wonder who enjoys that job -- all I think of is ICK! Seeing all kinds of Va-Jay-Jay's everyday -- Guess it isn's as bad as a gyno but still! Now that is a dirty job!
Then I have been thinking about a massage. I have a friend who would kill for anyone to give her a butt massage. She loved that -- I tried it at home a long time ago as foreplay thing. It was nice -- I will admit. But I am not sure I am ready to let some stranger put their hands all over me (especially me backside -- and my thighs ( I never liked those...) Do you think I could go in and say -- I want a massage but you can only touch these places.....---they would probably think this chick is wierd.
Impracticality totally rules over the pedicure and manicure stuff. I live in the barn. I work hard with my hands. My fingers get dirty! Um -- what could I possibly do with that extra inch of hard stuff poking out from my fingers other than scratch someones eyes out? And where would I go that anyone would appreciate that stuff! I wear boots, tennis shoes, and no high heels or sandals! HELLO -- pedicure anyone?
Oh, and lets take it even another step -- how about a makeover? Um...lets think, I am lucky if I put on makeup more than 10 times a year! What good would that do?
I guess I look at it this way -- I don't have a need for this girlie stuff that you have to pay for. I can get all this great massaging stuff by keeping a man around -- or even a great gay friend! (Except for the bikini wax - it would be scary letting any man do that!) Wait a minute -- where is that man when you need him? Guess I am not too good with that either!
I will continue to be tight with my money when it comes to that girlie stuff.....
Hey -- I think my pony needs another massage session soon -- I will book it this week.
There is nothing wasted on getting the best for my horses....... OK -- I know, I am wierd! but it is OK! I am not a girlie-girl!
It got me to thinking about this girlie situation. I am not one--If you haven't figured it out yet. About the only really girlie thing I ever do is get my hair cut and while I am there I get me eyebrows waxed (Tweezers and I have huge issues!) I have never set down for a manicure, massage, or body waxing. Not even a pedicure -- which may be wierd (or wonderful) with my foot fetish. (maybe I should try that one first)
So today I got to thinking about all the girly stuff I may consider having done. I have been thinking strongly of this brazilian bikini wax thing. Other than the part where some woman gets real intimate with the "va-jay-jay" area, and maybe a little painful -- I bet it really is awesome. Maybe this summer I will attempt that. (I wonder who enjoys that job -- all I think of is ICK! Seeing all kinds of Va-Jay-Jay's everyday -- Guess it isn's as bad as a gyno but still! Now that is a dirty job!
Then I have been thinking about a massage. I have a friend who would kill for anyone to give her a butt massage. She loved that -- I tried it at home a long time ago as foreplay thing. It was nice -- I will admit. But I am not sure I am ready to let some stranger put their hands all over me (especially me backside -- and my thighs ( I never liked those...) Do you think I could go in and say -- I want a massage but you can only touch these places.....---they would probably think this chick is wierd.
Impracticality totally rules over the pedicure and manicure stuff. I live in the barn. I work hard with my hands. My fingers get dirty! Um -- what could I possibly do with that extra inch of hard stuff poking out from my fingers other than scratch someones eyes out? And where would I go that anyone would appreciate that stuff! I wear boots, tennis shoes, and no high heels or sandals! HELLO -- pedicure anyone?
Oh, and lets take it even another step -- how about a makeover? Um...lets think, I am lucky if I put on makeup more than 10 times a year! What good would that do?
I guess I look at it this way -- I don't have a need for this girlie stuff that you have to pay for. I can get all this great massaging stuff by keeping a man around -- or even a great gay friend! (Except for the bikini wax - it would be scary letting any man do that!) Wait a minute -- where is that man when you need him? Guess I am not too good with that either!
I will continue to be tight with my money when it comes to that girlie stuff.....
Hey -- I think my pony needs another massage session soon -- I will book it this week.
There is nothing wasted on getting the best for my horses....... OK -- I know, I am wierd! but it is OK! I am not a girlie-girl!
I'm Covered in Hair!
Today I became completely engulfed and covered in hair! Horse Hair!
The extremely pleasant warm front moving through the midwest has me running around in the glorious weather today for the first time in a long time -- IN MY T-SHIRT! Yeah for me!
Not wanting it to end -- I performed my very first equine spring duty~ the pony got a haircut!
She is now a very elegant looking lady without the unsightly mustache, afro, and long facial hair. Today --she looks the lady, and I covered in her hair. I guess we traded spots today! Tomorrow if it continues -- we will attemt a bath!
Is it wierd I would rather be covered in her hair that sitting in a spa doing girlie things?
The extremely pleasant warm front moving through the midwest has me running around in the glorious weather today for the first time in a long time -- IN MY T-SHIRT! Yeah for me!
Not wanting it to end -- I performed my very first equine spring duty~ the pony got a haircut!
She is now a very elegant looking lady without the unsightly mustache, afro, and long facial hair. Today --she looks the lady, and I covered in her hair. I guess we traded spots today! Tomorrow if it continues -- we will attemt a bath!
Is it wierd I would rather be covered in her hair that sitting in a spa doing girlie things?
Monday, February 19, 2007
The TP Buddy...
I survived my classes today. I survived work today. I survived my busiest day of the week today!
I didn't so all this surviving alone -- I had the aid of my new best friend. The best friend that slept with me all weekend. The friend that helped me survive the miserable weekend and survive the work weekend. The friend that continually told me to try and get some sleep and maybe some soup? It was also the friend that made my poor nosey raw and red. But none the less my toilet paper roll got through all weekend and today.
It may seem wierd that a TP role can become the sole comfort of a college girl. But a poor college girl and walmart hater -- TP was the softest thing available. It slept with me, snuggles in bed with me, became very intimate with my face, and was overall -- a comfort to me.
I won't deny, I got a lot of looks today as I tacked up my horse for class and my buddy TP came along. I have a pocket on the side of my saddle pad that housed TP for the duration of the class. Having the fabulous horse that I do, stopping for a moment for my nose to snuggle with TP was easy. I even got hit up several times to share TP with others -- No longer a virgin -- TP and I can compare our intimate expiriences together.
I will miss TP when the time comes, I hate to let him know there was another before him. (It's naked cardboard roll hit the trash 2 days before) I think I will spare him that grief. But one day -- I will no longer need TP and another will be there to sleep, snuggle, and get intimate with my face.
I won't deny that I am looking forward to that day too!
I didn't so all this surviving alone -- I had the aid of my new best friend. The best friend that slept with me all weekend. The friend that helped me survive the miserable weekend and survive the work weekend. The friend that continually told me to try and get some sleep and maybe some soup? It was also the friend that made my poor nosey raw and red. But none the less my toilet paper roll got through all weekend and today.
It may seem wierd that a TP role can become the sole comfort of a college girl. But a poor college girl and walmart hater -- TP was the softest thing available. It slept with me, snuggles in bed with me, became very intimate with my face, and was overall -- a comfort to me.
I won't deny, I got a lot of looks today as I tacked up my horse for class and my buddy TP came along. I have a pocket on the side of my saddle pad that housed TP for the duration of the class. Having the fabulous horse that I do, stopping for a moment for my nose to snuggle with TP was easy. I even got hit up several times to share TP with others -- No longer a virgin -- TP and I can compare our intimate expiriences together.
I will miss TP when the time comes, I hate to let him know there was another before him. (It's naked cardboard roll hit the trash 2 days before) I think I will spare him that grief. But one day -- I will no longer need TP and another will be there to sleep, snuggle, and get intimate with my face.
I won't deny that I am looking forward to that day too!
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Death is on my doorstop....
My snot congested head has declared war on my mind. The tingle in the back of my throat has turned into knives inserting themselves slowly into my body. My nose, purely irritated from the lack of decent kleenex replaced by the softest TP I could find, and my mind -- already digging the grave.
I NEVER get sick! I am a physically active young woman and this never used to happen to me. What is the deal? I also know, that I never whined like this -- EVER! But it has clearly put a damper on everything holy in my life and I HATE it!
I cannot ride my pony -- not of lack of want or determination, but I know the minute I get all tacked up and start to ride --- the nose will declare war and I will have to find a tissue or ride with snot all over my face, sleeve, and body. Not to mention, it will probably be followed up by this miserable cough that refuses to leave.
I cannot function at work properly. This smiling constantly angel who socializes and giggles all the time has been reduced to this snot filled princess that is all but smiley and conversational. The rasp in my throat is not helping either.
I cannot go out drinking with the girls. Lord knows--I cannot taste a thing. I would be a drunk, non-smiley, non-conversational, ride begging snot case. Not at all attractive if you ask me.
I cannot enjoy a shopping date with the roomie. I hate shopping altogether, but sometimes you have to do it! I spice it up by enjoying a lunch date out of it. All college girls are always happier if there is REAL food involved.
I cannot enjoy the sunshine or the people I surround myself around -- and they don't enjoy me either like this!
So furthermore -- I am digging the grave! I have one foot in and this cold needs to make a choice. Either it jumps in, my snot bag will happily follow -- or I will declare war on you. It has been 4 days too long. You either evacuate or I will do it -- To the DOCTOR I come!
To all that know me -- I don't do doctors! But I will -- I swear!
I NEVER get sick! I am a physically active young woman and this never used to happen to me. What is the deal? I also know, that I never whined like this -- EVER! But it has clearly put a damper on everything holy in my life and I HATE it!
I cannot ride my pony -- not of lack of want or determination, but I know the minute I get all tacked up and start to ride --- the nose will declare war and I will have to find a tissue or ride with snot all over my face, sleeve, and body. Not to mention, it will probably be followed up by this miserable cough that refuses to leave.
I cannot function at work properly. This smiling constantly angel who socializes and giggles all the time has been reduced to this snot filled princess that is all but smiley and conversational. The rasp in my throat is not helping either.
I cannot go out drinking with the girls. Lord knows--I cannot taste a thing. I would be a drunk, non-smiley, non-conversational, ride begging snot case. Not at all attractive if you ask me.
I cannot enjoy a shopping date with the roomie. I hate shopping altogether, but sometimes you have to do it! I spice it up by enjoying a lunch date out of it. All college girls are always happier if there is REAL food involved.
I cannot enjoy the sunshine or the people I surround myself around -- and they don't enjoy me either like this!
So furthermore -- I am digging the grave! I have one foot in and this cold needs to make a choice. Either it jumps in, my snot bag will happily follow -- or I will declare war on you. It has been 4 days too long. You either evacuate or I will do it -- To the DOCTOR I come!
To all that know me -- I don't do doctors! But I will -- I swear!
Thursday, February 15, 2007
What I Will Not Respond To.....
Hey you? Honey? Doodlebug? -- Have you ever given thought to all the crazy things people say to get your attention and you respond? We were chit-chatting last night about the crazy things we respond to and will NOT respond to.
I respond to...
- My Name
- Hey You
- Bug "nickname" (wierd, don't ask)
- Sweetie
- Honey
- Any other affectionate name
- Um .... Miss..... (For anyone not knowing me at all...or forgetting my name)
- Any smilng face is welcome
- Tap on the shoulder
- Hand around my waist
- Tickle on my neck
Hmmm...I think I am getting a little off base here.... lets move on....
I will not respond to .....
- Snapping fingers
- Finger tapping
- Any profane word you might think is cute as a name for me
- A hand on my ass = face slap -- thanks though.
- Continually forgeting my name -- I have a pretty name -- remember it!
Overall, here is the main point. I will respond to any method you have of being friendly or considerate. If you try to act the ass --- you will get responded to as one or get no response at all.
Oh, and while we are at it -- acting cocky really doesn't get you laid. So please knock it off! There is a place for that, and it isn't in daily conversation -- I Promise!
I respond to...
- My Name
- Hey You
- Bug "nickname" (wierd, don't ask)
- Sweetie
- Honey
- Any other affectionate name
- Um .... Miss..... (For anyone not knowing me at all...or forgetting my name)
- Any smilng face is welcome
- Tap on the shoulder
- Hand around my waist
- Tickle on my neck
Hmmm...I think I am getting a little off base here.... lets move on....
I will not respond to .....
- Snapping fingers
- Finger tapping
- Any profane word you might think is cute as a name for me
- A hand on my ass = face slap -- thanks though.
- Continually forgeting my name -- I have a pretty name -- remember it!
Overall, here is the main point. I will respond to any method you have of being friendly or considerate. If you try to act the ass --- you will get responded to as one or get no response at all.
Oh, and while we are at it -- acting cocky really doesn't get you laid. So please knock it off! There is a place for that, and it isn't in daily conversation -- I Promise!
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Valentines Day Ravings ---
Ok, The Holiday dreaded by single women all over the world has began.
This morning I awoke to realize that the weather is spewing snowflakes, drastically dropped in temperature, and is even adding an icy chill that tickles your nose. The weather apparently doesn't give sunshine and warmth for this so-called romantic holiday.
In talking with a multitude of students this week, there are mixed emotions going into this estranged holiday. Those with love laden eyes, can't wait to get presents and exchange "I love you's", while others who have someone special think this holiday is absolutely absurd. "Why do you need a holiday to tell someone you love them?" -- an excellent point in my perspective.
I remember Valentines days past when I was younger just wishing I had someone special to spend it with. As I got older, it just became a holiday. I have never been a super emotional kind of girl, but I know those women who would just kill to have somebody, to not be single, to not have to be alone......
All I can say to these women is just this -- cherish EVERY moment you have on this earth. Even if the day is dreary, or you have to watch someone suck face in front of you -- it isn't worth your feeling bad or finding the first loser available to make you think you feel better.
One day -- you will get yours! You will meet your match and never have to worry about this pointless holiday ever again. So today, while you watch ridiculous people go crazy over this holiday -- just watch, smile, even giggle in your oddity -- becuase today doesn't have to be a holiday for loving someone else -- make it a holiday to appreciate yourself!
I promise you -- that you will never dump yourself, forget your birthday, always give the most thoughtful chirstmas presents, and never dissapoint! If you want to include another in your day - find your favorite pet! When is the last time you pampered that love of your life?
Tomorrow -- I am dedicated to breaking apart the wierdest valentines day I observed and add a bit of humor!
This morning I awoke to realize that the weather is spewing snowflakes, drastically dropped in temperature, and is even adding an icy chill that tickles your nose. The weather apparently doesn't give sunshine and warmth for this so-called romantic holiday.
In talking with a multitude of students this week, there are mixed emotions going into this estranged holiday. Those with love laden eyes, can't wait to get presents and exchange "I love you's", while others who have someone special think this holiday is absolutely absurd. "Why do you need a holiday to tell someone you love them?" -- an excellent point in my perspective.
I remember Valentines days past when I was younger just wishing I had someone special to spend it with. As I got older, it just became a holiday. I have never been a super emotional kind of girl, but I know those women who would just kill to have somebody, to not be single, to not have to be alone......
All I can say to these women is just this -- cherish EVERY moment you have on this earth. Even if the day is dreary, or you have to watch someone suck face in front of you -- it isn't worth your feeling bad or finding the first loser available to make you think you feel better.
One day -- you will get yours! You will meet your match and never have to worry about this pointless holiday ever again. So today, while you watch ridiculous people go crazy over this holiday -- just watch, smile, even giggle in your oddity -- becuase today doesn't have to be a holiday for loving someone else -- make it a holiday to appreciate yourself!
I promise you -- that you will never dump yourself, forget your birthday, always give the most thoughtful chirstmas presents, and never dissapoint! If you want to include another in your day - find your favorite pet! When is the last time you pampered that love of your life?
Tomorrow -- I am dedicated to breaking apart the wierdest valentines day I observed and add a bit of humor!
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
I can admit it....I may be wrong!
I will admit to it openly, I may have been wrong on a recent subject.
The other evening as the news interrupted my local programming for a news update, I immediately thought not so nice thoughts.
Anna Nicole Smith dies today....unrecessive.....unresponsive.....you get the idea.
All this just hours after a huge network commercial spot for a preview of her mother ready to go on national television and bash Anna and her abillty to shelter her very own mother from her new grandchild.
As the news broke, I immediately went to the reasoning -- she offed herself -- overdose. Easy answer, not news, to bed I went.....
I will openly admit she was not a role model to me in any way, nor a person I really cared to even hear about. Her son OD'd, her new daughter with 4 possible daddies, her WAY old deceased husband, OMG --who would look at her in a playboy - really?? -- The list goes on and on...
However, as more of the televsion continues to blastmore and more of the wicked details, I find myself beginning to feel bad for this woman. The supposed "man in her life" declared she was sick, 105 degree temperature, maybe she really didn't OD. I guess I could be wrong. So I got to thinking about her life. Married to an old man, horrid relationship with her mother, the death of a son, new baby, not married -- to me this just seems to be a really horrible way to life. I ponder if there was any joy in her life.. a question never to be answered, but still curious.
I say all this now and really care. However, I will regret all of this next week if the coroner comes back and declares overdose. Then I will have a new ball of wax to open up.
But for now.... I admit, I may have been wrong.
The other evening as the news interrupted my local programming for a news update, I immediately thought not so nice thoughts.
Anna Nicole Smith dies today....unrecessive.....unresponsive.....you get the idea.
All this just hours after a huge network commercial spot for a preview of her mother ready to go on national television and bash Anna and her abillty to shelter her very own mother from her new grandchild.
As the news broke, I immediately went to the reasoning -- she offed herself -- overdose. Easy answer, not news, to bed I went.....
I will openly admit she was not a role model to me in any way, nor a person I really cared to even hear about. Her son OD'd, her new daughter with 4 possible daddies, her WAY old deceased husband, OMG --who would look at her in a playboy - really?? -- The list goes on and on...
However, as more of the televsion continues to blastmore and more of the wicked details, I find myself beginning to feel bad for this woman. The supposed "man in her life" declared she was sick, 105 degree temperature, maybe she really didn't OD. I guess I could be wrong. So I got to thinking about her life. Married to an old man, horrid relationship with her mother, the death of a son, new baby, not married -- to me this just seems to be a really horrible way to life. I ponder if there was any joy in her life.. a question never to be answered, but still curious.
I say all this now and really care. However, I will regret all of this next week if the coroner comes back and declares overdose. Then I will have a new ball of wax to open up.
But for now.... I admit, I may have been wrong.
Monday, February 12, 2007
100 Things About Me...
100 things about me:
1. My all time favorite foods are steak, homemade potato salad, maraschino cherries
2. I don’t do Caffeine, except the occasional cappuccino
3. I’ve only been in love once.
4. My best friend is my mom.
5. Soda, pop, coke – whatever. Who cares?
6. My parents are still happily married. One day I hope to be just like them.
7. I went to K-8 with the same 30 kids and don’t talk to any of them anymore save one.
8. I ride horses! It keeps me sane and happy. Got a problem with it – DEAL!
9. My favorite drink is a good glass of wine.
10. When my cell phone rings it may or may not be with me. I do not base my life around my cell phone.
11. I'm shy, have strong opinions, and sometimes insecure.
12. I don't do well living with girls. I think is it a tomboy thing.
13. I hate working out but know it's good for me. I try to make it fun….teh waistline obviously shows.
14. I love to cook, but not all the time. Cleaning and laundry doesn't bother me either. The only chore I really, really hate is dusting and windows!
15. I have a degree – if I ever do anything with it is still a mystery….
16. I got my drivers license a week after I turned 16. My first car was a 1990 Hyundai Excel (stick shift--hatchback baby!) My parents bought it for me. Some stupid woman crashed into me...I now drive a Pontiac Sunfire and my truck which I also love.
17. I have never had braces. I still have my wisdom teeth too.
18. I'm emotionally needy. I try not to be – but I can’t help it.
19. I have never had a pedicure, manicure, or a spa day.
20. I hate to shave my legs – I do it when it matters, but when it doesn’t -- I don’t
21. I used to be a very jealous person – as I age I realize there are better things to do.
22. A GREAT evening involves a bubble bath, glass of wine, some music, and a good book.
23. I’m a movie addict. I love to watch em’
24. I have an obsession with buying things for my horses or for me to show my horses.
25. I have two tattoos. The one on my lower back I spent a considerable amount of time thinking about and drew myself. The other one, on my upper back, I got on a whim. I think I like the second one better. My cousin inked them for me!
26. My natural hair color is dark brown. I was supposed to be a red head, but only my half sister got that lucky – So mine is fake – but I like it!
27. I have boy hands. Calloused from work – but never any complaints.
28. I don’t do babies! I never got that mothering instinct I guess…they scare the shit out of me.
29. I hate cats – I sacrifice them! Ask me some time – it’s a funny story!
30. My eyes are my favorite part of my body.
31. I like it when people think I'm funny.
32. I hate to fight
33. I'm scared of heights, snakes, being unsuccessful, and never finding my one true love.
34. I had my belly button pierced—but show jeans and the belly button ring didn’t get along very well. The ring had to go.
35. I like my eggs over easy but cooked all the way through. I am weird like that I guess – slimey eggs are icky.
36. Most of my friends have always been guys. I think because I'm a tomboy and I don’t typically enjoy girly things.
37. I HATE shopping!
38. When I get nervous, I talk really fast. It’s a northerner thing.
39. I don't think I've seriously ever been addicted to anything. I'm not an alcoholic or a druggie.
40. My favorite store is Burlington Coat Factory, though I rarely buy anything. I love the variety.
41. I think I speak more eloquently than I write.
42. I'm very outgoing.
43. The only tea I thoroughly enjoy is Crystal Light Iced Tea.
44. My car was pulled over once by a cop who thought I’d been kidnapped. Really, we were just pulled over for some “one-on-one” time. We still laugh about that….
45. I HATE all forms of dressing up. Jeans are the only way to go!
46. I like all kinds of music. It's hard for me to pick a favorite.
47. I like getting real mail – especially the kind with a real stamp on it.
48. I LOVE real pineapple.
49. I love my moms apple dip and homemade chili
50. My grandparents could never say “I love you” to their family members until just recently. The hug came 3 years ago….people can change.
51. I dislike long prep times in the morning. I do not own a blow dryer, flat iron, or any other hair accessories other than a brush.
52. I've have one speeding ticket, but mingled my way out of a few.
53. It never gets old seeing your name in print. Ever.
54. Deep down, I am pretty outgoing and perverted.
55. I'm the dormitories female arm wrestling champion – makes me feel tough.
56. I wish I could wear a t-shirt and jeans EVERYWHERE and have it be socially acceptable.
57. I love to laugh and mingle.
58. FX is by far, my favorite channel.
59. I hate awkward moments when you have run out of things to say.
60. As I get older, I am getting more emotional. I cry more often at a sad movie.
61. I check my e-mail a lot of times every day.
62. I don’t think I will ever change my phone number. I just like it – why change it?
63. In the morning, I love to dance in my underwear and sing. (Only when alone though!)
64. I have to wash my hair every single day.
65. I am an awful liar. So I don’t do it.
66. The only sports I enjoy watching are football and horse events. Oh, but I do enjoy the Olympics!
67. I would be willing to make the bet that 90-percent of people who know me have never seen me cry.
68. I got spanked as a kid – look how good I turned out!
69. I love spelling and words! Was my grade school spelling bee champion!
70. I hated school until college – I found the real me there!
71. The only news I watch is the temperature gauge in the corner – and sometimes entertainment television. Gossip is better than what is going on in the real world.
72. I am a democrat - Plain and simple.
73. I take a vitamin every day.
74. I snuggle with my pillows when I sleep.
75. My favorite pizza is pepperoni, pineapple, and mushroom.
76. There are very few foods I don't like. Asparagus is one of them.
77. I'm not crafty. I don't really know how to sew or knit or crochet.
78. I not artistic either!
79. I have a foot fetish!
80. I too, can play video games, but they have to be fun -- Horseracing, A Shark’s Tale, Spyro the Dragon…..
81. One of the neatest gifts I ever received was a stained glass moth, cut and made entirely by hand. It hangs on my wall until I get a window hanger for it.
82. I cannot sleep with socks on. Nobody is welcome in my bed with em’ on either!
83. I want to own my own home – sometime.
84. I love Culvers. Otherwise, I pretty much hate fast food.
85. I can live simple! Already have the plans made out.
86. I write like a doctor. Sometimes only I can read it.
87. I have german toes…you know, where the 2nd toe is longer than the first toe.
88. I don't have an iPod or an MP3 player – I couldn’t even tell you the difference between the two.
89. I'd love to learn to ballroom dance or scuba dive
90. I played the saxophone and oboe in middle school. I quit in high school because I didn’t want to march.
91. I’ve had my heart broken – I hope to never feel that way ever again!
92. I am really bad at calling people, or calling them back.
93. I love getting new socks.
94. I would rather have a few very close friends, like I do, rather than a lot of people in my life I can only quasi trust. I love making new acquaintances though.
95. I dream of a very cheap wedding – but expensive honeymoon – NOT in the USA!
96. I've never broken a bone.
97. I have German and Irish heritage…..where is my red hair dammit!
98. I hate roller coasters and theme parks.
99. I believe in pro-choice, death penalty, gay marriage, and affirmative action.
100. I have never been to Disneyland.
1. My all time favorite foods are steak, homemade potato salad, maraschino cherries
2. I don’t do Caffeine, except the occasional cappuccino
3. I’ve only been in love once.
4. My best friend is my mom.
5. Soda, pop, coke – whatever. Who cares?
6. My parents are still happily married. One day I hope to be just like them.
7. I went to K-8 with the same 30 kids and don’t talk to any of them anymore save one.
8. I ride horses! It keeps me sane and happy. Got a problem with it – DEAL!
9. My favorite drink is a good glass of wine.
10. When my cell phone rings it may or may not be with me. I do not base my life around my cell phone.
11. I'm shy, have strong opinions, and sometimes insecure.
12. I don't do well living with girls. I think is it a tomboy thing.
13. I hate working out but know it's good for me. I try to make it fun….teh waistline obviously shows.
14. I love to cook, but not all the time. Cleaning and laundry doesn't bother me either. The only chore I really, really hate is dusting and windows!
15. I have a degree – if I ever do anything with it is still a mystery….
16. I got my drivers license a week after I turned 16. My first car was a 1990 Hyundai Excel (stick shift--hatchback baby!) My parents bought it for me. Some stupid woman crashed into me...I now drive a Pontiac Sunfire and my truck which I also love.
17. I have never had braces. I still have my wisdom teeth too.
18. I'm emotionally needy. I try not to be – but I can’t help it.
19. I have never had a pedicure, manicure, or a spa day.
20. I hate to shave my legs – I do it when it matters, but when it doesn’t -- I don’t
21. I used to be a very jealous person – as I age I realize there are better things to do.
22. A GREAT evening involves a bubble bath, glass of wine, some music, and a good book.
23. I’m a movie addict. I love to watch em’
24. I have an obsession with buying things for my horses or for me to show my horses.
25. I have two tattoos. The one on my lower back I spent a considerable amount of time thinking about and drew myself. The other one, on my upper back, I got on a whim. I think I like the second one better. My cousin inked them for me!
26. My natural hair color is dark brown. I was supposed to be a red head, but only my half sister got that lucky – So mine is fake – but I like it!
27. I have boy hands. Calloused from work – but never any complaints.
28. I don’t do babies! I never got that mothering instinct I guess…they scare the shit out of me.
29. I hate cats – I sacrifice them! Ask me some time – it’s a funny story!
30. My eyes are my favorite part of my body.
31. I like it when people think I'm funny.
32. I hate to fight
33. I'm scared of heights, snakes, being unsuccessful, and never finding my one true love.
34. I had my belly button pierced—but show jeans and the belly button ring didn’t get along very well. The ring had to go.
35. I like my eggs over easy but cooked all the way through. I am weird like that I guess – slimey eggs are icky.
36. Most of my friends have always been guys. I think because I'm a tomboy and I don’t typically enjoy girly things.
37. I HATE shopping!
38. When I get nervous, I talk really fast. It’s a northerner thing.
39. I don't think I've seriously ever been addicted to anything. I'm not an alcoholic or a druggie.
40. My favorite store is Burlington Coat Factory, though I rarely buy anything. I love the variety.
41. I think I speak more eloquently than I write.
42. I'm very outgoing.
43. The only tea I thoroughly enjoy is Crystal Light Iced Tea.
44. My car was pulled over once by a cop who thought I’d been kidnapped. Really, we were just pulled over for some “one-on-one” time. We still laugh about that….
45. I HATE all forms of dressing up. Jeans are the only way to go!
46. I like all kinds of music. It's hard for me to pick a favorite.
47. I like getting real mail – especially the kind with a real stamp on it.
48. I LOVE real pineapple.
49. I love my moms apple dip and homemade chili
50. My grandparents could never say “I love you” to their family members until just recently. The hug came 3 years ago….people can change.
51. I dislike long prep times in the morning. I do not own a blow dryer, flat iron, or any other hair accessories other than a brush.
52. I've have one speeding ticket, but mingled my way out of a few.
53. It never gets old seeing your name in print. Ever.
54. Deep down, I am pretty outgoing and perverted.
55. I'm the dormitories female arm wrestling champion – makes me feel tough.
56. I wish I could wear a t-shirt and jeans EVERYWHERE and have it be socially acceptable.
57. I love to laugh and mingle.
58. FX is by far, my favorite channel.
59. I hate awkward moments when you have run out of things to say.
60. As I get older, I am getting more emotional. I cry more often at a sad movie.
61. I check my e-mail a lot of times every day.
62. I don’t think I will ever change my phone number. I just like it – why change it?
63. In the morning, I love to dance in my underwear and sing. (Only when alone though!)
64. I have to wash my hair every single day.
65. I am an awful liar. So I don’t do it.
66. The only sports I enjoy watching are football and horse events. Oh, but I do enjoy the Olympics!
67. I would be willing to make the bet that 90-percent of people who know me have never seen me cry.
68. I got spanked as a kid – look how good I turned out!
69. I love spelling and words! Was my grade school spelling bee champion!
70. I hated school until college – I found the real me there!
71. The only news I watch is the temperature gauge in the corner – and sometimes entertainment television. Gossip is better than what is going on in the real world.
72. I am a democrat - Plain and simple.
73. I take a vitamin every day.
74. I snuggle with my pillows when I sleep.
75. My favorite pizza is pepperoni, pineapple, and mushroom.
76. There are very few foods I don't like. Asparagus is one of them.
77. I'm not crafty. I don't really know how to sew or knit or crochet.
78. I not artistic either!
79. I have a foot fetish!
80. I too, can play video games, but they have to be fun -- Horseracing, A Shark’s Tale, Spyro the Dragon…..
81. One of the neatest gifts I ever received was a stained glass moth, cut and made entirely by hand. It hangs on my wall until I get a window hanger for it.
82. I cannot sleep with socks on. Nobody is welcome in my bed with em’ on either!
83. I want to own my own home – sometime.
84. I love Culvers. Otherwise, I pretty much hate fast food.
85. I can live simple! Already have the plans made out.
86. I write like a doctor. Sometimes only I can read it.
87. I have german toes…you know, where the 2nd toe is longer than the first toe.
88. I don't have an iPod or an MP3 player – I couldn’t even tell you the difference between the two.
89. I'd love to learn to ballroom dance or scuba dive
90. I played the saxophone and oboe in middle school. I quit in high school because I didn’t want to march.
91. I’ve had my heart broken – I hope to never feel that way ever again!
92. I am really bad at calling people, or calling them back.
93. I love getting new socks.
94. I would rather have a few very close friends, like I do, rather than a lot of people in my life I can only quasi trust. I love making new acquaintances though.
95. I dream of a very cheap wedding – but expensive honeymoon – NOT in the USA!
96. I've never broken a bone.
97. I have German and Irish heritage…..where is my red hair dammit!
98. I hate roller coasters and theme parks.
99. I believe in pro-choice, death penalty, gay marriage, and affirmative action.
100. I have never been to Disneyland.
Thursday, February 8, 2007
"I am the Hawk....."
I feel horrible, the time gets away from me and the blog looks vacant! SMILES for my return!
Last night I was on my television kick. Most women would probably agree that ABC launches women all night long television programming on Thursday nights. It all starts with Ugly Betty. The one women whom all women should admire and look up to. Followed by the drama of Grey's Anatomy. Anyone who hasn't tuned in -- should be! Men in Trees, the underrated but high quality eye candy show, rings up the rear in which my post today is attributed to.
Last night the show, focused entirely on opening up the crazy world of dating and relationships, ended sadly with a theme that hit a heartstring. The show, excitingly, takes place in Alaska. The wilderness and heavily abundant male population in this small town where "everyone knows your name, business, daily activites, etc...."
The relationship in mention was a new sparked long-distance relationship between a Seattle book editor and the houseboat livin "plow guy." A recent extended vacation yielded pressure for this budding couple when the houseboats fuzzy rodent inhabitant plays a little bit too much "footsie" than is welcome. Upon much arguement, the problem arises. Keep the mouse..its cold outside -- Obviously the Australian male theory versus -- kill the mouse -- it doesn't belong the very typical estrogen produced city-girl response.
Of course the rodent got the boot...in the friendly form of--catch and release back to the wilderness. Yeah! Peace, love, life -- Hooorah! Then the hawk swoops in and takes the fuzzly little guy to the next world in the form of dinner. Enter-- OOPS! Long story short -- relationship ended on -- estrogen speaks -- "I am the hawk..." relationship is over....
Now that you've been briefed -- enter my viewpoint.
In all relationships, I am pretty sure there is a dominant party somewhere. The one partner who ultimately makes the big decisions. Sure, we all like to say that there is a "team effort", but really we all know that there is a persuasive side. It is not always a certain gender as far as I'm concerned. There are men who can control and can be persuasive over their spouse-- the ones that use fists and DEMAND your attention..... the typical conclusion is that the female gender is the ultimate "persuader," the real pants wearer. I think it has to do with control. Women like to have all bases covered.
So where to you fall in: The Mouse or the Hawk?
I have decided that after years of independance, long distance relationships, and plenty of time to myself to ponder the ways of the world that I too, am a hawk. If was in the same houseboat, I would not have ended it -- come on, the man ditched the mouse. I have insecurity issues, I can say that without hear. I know that I feel more secure knowing that I have some control over the denim and lace up that belt as tight as I need it to be.
I also do not see this as a weakness, only a small dent in my perfection.
Maybe, I am a little selfish here...but hey, I am the Hawk. I'll just eat you....
Last night I was on my television kick. Most women would probably agree that ABC launches women all night long television programming on Thursday nights. It all starts with Ugly Betty. The one women whom all women should admire and look up to. Followed by the drama of Grey's Anatomy. Anyone who hasn't tuned in -- should be! Men in Trees, the underrated but high quality eye candy show, rings up the rear in which my post today is attributed to.
Last night the show, focused entirely on opening up the crazy world of dating and relationships, ended sadly with a theme that hit a heartstring. The show, excitingly, takes place in Alaska. The wilderness and heavily abundant male population in this small town where "everyone knows your name, business, daily activites, etc...."
The relationship in mention was a new sparked long-distance relationship between a Seattle book editor and the houseboat livin "plow guy." A recent extended vacation yielded pressure for this budding couple when the houseboats fuzzy rodent inhabitant plays a little bit too much "footsie" than is welcome. Upon much arguement, the problem arises. Keep the mouse..its cold outside -- Obviously the Australian male theory versus -- kill the mouse -- it doesn't belong the very typical estrogen produced city-girl response.
Of course the rodent got the boot...in the friendly form of--catch and release back to the wilderness. Yeah! Peace, love, life -- Hooorah! Then the hawk swoops in and takes the fuzzly little guy to the next world in the form of dinner. Enter-- OOPS! Long story short -- relationship ended on -- estrogen speaks -- "I am the hawk..." relationship is over....
Now that you've been briefed -- enter my viewpoint.
In all relationships, I am pretty sure there is a dominant party somewhere. The one partner who ultimately makes the big decisions. Sure, we all like to say that there is a "team effort", but really we all know that there is a persuasive side. It is not always a certain gender as far as I'm concerned. There are men who can control and can be persuasive over their spouse-- the ones that use fists and DEMAND your attention..... the typical conclusion is that the female gender is the ultimate "persuader," the real pants wearer. I think it has to do with control. Women like to have all bases covered.
So where to you fall in: The Mouse or the Hawk?
I have decided that after years of independance, long distance relationships, and plenty of time to myself to ponder the ways of the world that I too, am a hawk. If was in the same houseboat, I would not have ended it -- come on, the man ditched the mouse. I have insecurity issues, I can say that without hear. I know that I feel more secure knowing that I have some control over the denim and lace up that belt as tight as I need it to be.
I also do not see this as a weakness, only a small dent in my perfection.
Maybe, I am a little selfish here...but hey, I am the Hawk. I'll just eat you....
"If the job ain't complete....please don't get off the seat!"
The quote of the day..."If the job ain't complete....please don't get off the seat!"
The other day I happened to utilize a facility restroom. As I was taking care of business within this new and very clean facility I took a brief moment to glance at the standard 8.5 x 11 sheet of printer paper on the door of my stall that stated something very similar to the following..."If the job ain't complete....please don't get off the seat!"
At first, I thought....Cool, it rhymes. LOL! I guess when your peeing the thought process must work funky!
Then I got to looking at it further...almost afraid to lift my pampered hindquarters from the stool itself, I sat and thought somemore. Why would one get off the seat if the job wasn't indeed complete? GROSS! Hmmm... I am sitting in a very clean, well maintained bathroom stall, utilized by teaching staff and college students....Hmm...the image of tiny kids playing with poop of course pops into my head. But, these are again -- adults and college kids....not to mention -- WOMENS restroom.
I know boys will do very strange things in a public restrooms, not too sure why. I am caught somewhere between sheer boredom and stupidity...
But why would such a sign grace this particular door.....?
To this day, I am still not quite sure. The question and my curiousity remain.
The other day I happened to utilize a facility restroom. As I was taking care of business within this new and very clean facility I took a brief moment to glance at the standard 8.5 x 11 sheet of printer paper on the door of my stall that stated something very similar to the following..."If the job ain't complete....please don't get off the seat!"
At first, I thought....Cool, it rhymes. LOL! I guess when your peeing the thought process must work funky!
Then I got to looking at it further...almost afraid to lift my pampered hindquarters from the stool itself, I sat and thought somemore. Why would one get off the seat if the job wasn't indeed complete? GROSS! Hmmm... I am sitting in a very clean, well maintained bathroom stall, utilized by teaching staff and college students....Hmm...the image of tiny kids playing with poop of course pops into my head. But, these are again -- adults and college kids....not to mention -- WOMENS restroom.
I know boys will do very strange things in a public restrooms, not too sure why. I am caught somewhere between sheer boredom and stupidity...
But why would such a sign grace this particular door.....?
To this day, I am still not quite sure. The question and my curiousity remain.
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
How to Save a Life....
My housing complex has a glass breezway where residents walk from the front door into the main housing areas. It is entirely enclosed by glass windows. Walking through this glass breezeway is an excellent way to decipher the weather, temperature, an all hell that may be going on outside before you get there. It is not a typical window.
My room window, I have declared, a BIG LIAR! I open my shades to see sun and no breeze in sight. Yeah for a pretty day. Except, you hit the breezeway and feel cold. Very cold! Then you open the door to the outside world -- BAM! Cold, Wind, Freezing!
All the more proof to watch the weatherman I guess.
Anyway, back to my point....
The glass breezeway is not just a weather meter at all. It is also the slayer of wildlife, particularly to those with wings. There have been several victims fallen slain to the attack of the glass windows. Kinda like those commercials where the crows shut the glass doors and the humans walk into it. Over the years of living here I have seen poor little winged souls crash, sometimes fatally, into this breezeway. I have decided these souls must be the "teenage" generation of winged avengers.
Obviously, what else would attempt to fly through these tight little windows that are not very high up in the air anyway? Definitely the "teenage" genra. Do birds do drugs???
The other day, I was working and heard a lot of commotion outside of my window. The breezeway had claimed another victim. A little sparrow (obviously young and dumb), had crashed into my weather meeter and landed on the ground below. Some of the building "girls" had heard the crash and instantly wanted to "save" the little soul. Their good deed for the day I imagine.
I keep thinking, If I had crashed into the wall and been stunned, the last thing I would want to encounter would be these gigantic beings hovering over me....Well, this little guy got lucky.
Upon his demise and my entertainment--these girls were a bit scared of the 1 pound, tennis ball sized being and kept their distance. Instead of touching the demon, they threw a stick at it! This was a nice, long twig -- The kind you could whip your little brother with and make it hurt! Here comes another concussion for the birdie along with the uncommunicated question "Are you alive?"
I am sure if it was dead....they would have run away screaming....
But no, the pure fear from these beings throwing sticks at him caused the little man to up and fly away.....of course it had to be a boy, no woman would be so dumb. We just mature faster you see.
CHEERS for everyone! They saved the birds life! Right?
Probably not, but I am pretty sure he will never visit again!
Moral of the Story.....
If you can't touch it, leave it alone; Sticks never cure a wound; Windows can prove fatal...watch where you fly! Boys--Brains first, then wings!
My room window, I have declared, a BIG LIAR! I open my shades to see sun and no breeze in sight. Yeah for a pretty day. Except, you hit the breezeway and feel cold. Very cold! Then you open the door to the outside world -- BAM! Cold, Wind, Freezing!
All the more proof to watch the weatherman I guess.
Anyway, back to my point....
The glass breezeway is not just a weather meter at all. It is also the slayer of wildlife, particularly to those with wings. There have been several victims fallen slain to the attack of the glass windows. Kinda like those commercials where the crows shut the glass doors and the humans walk into it. Over the years of living here I have seen poor little winged souls crash, sometimes fatally, into this breezeway. I have decided these souls must be the "teenage" generation of winged avengers.
Obviously, what else would attempt to fly through these tight little windows that are not very high up in the air anyway? Definitely the "teenage" genra. Do birds do drugs???
The other day, I was working and heard a lot of commotion outside of my window. The breezeway had claimed another victim. A little sparrow (obviously young and dumb), had crashed into my weather meeter and landed on the ground below. Some of the building "girls" had heard the crash and instantly wanted to "save" the little soul. Their good deed for the day I imagine.
I keep thinking, If I had crashed into the wall and been stunned, the last thing I would want to encounter would be these gigantic beings hovering over me....Well, this little guy got lucky.
Upon his demise and my entertainment--these girls were a bit scared of the 1 pound, tennis ball sized being and kept their distance. Instead of touching the demon, they threw a stick at it! This was a nice, long twig -- The kind you could whip your little brother with and make it hurt! Here comes another concussion for the birdie along with the uncommunicated question "Are you alive?"
I am sure if it was dead....they would have run away screaming....
But no, the pure fear from these beings throwing sticks at him caused the little man to up and fly away.....of course it had to be a boy, no woman would be so dumb. We just mature faster you see.
CHEERS for everyone! They saved the birds life! Right?
Probably not, but I am pretty sure he will never visit again!
Moral of the Story.....
If you can't touch it, leave it alone; Sticks never cure a wound; Windows can prove fatal...watch where you fly! Boys--Brains first, then wings!
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Life's Little Annoyances....Part 1
Today I got to thinking about all the little things that drive me to near insanity....
1. I DON'T want to listen to you chew
2. Ring my room phone one more time -- I'll deck ya!
3. I took the time to say "hi" to you....at least acknowledge my existence please!
4. I am not responsible for your garbage, dishes, laundry, etc! Get a MOM!
5. The broom is not unisex operational...use it!
6. Turn the lights off if your not using them
7. Do not POKE me! I am not your fun doll!
8. Your boyfriend is not your commandable barbie!
9. Even worse....your boyfriend is not my "girlfriend" --stop trying to be!
10. Cigarrette Smoke....need I say more
11. People who don't flush
12. Cigars on a daily basis ... now really?
13. Dry Counties -- It's Wet! We should be able to drink it!
14. Is it really that hard to put the toilet seat down?
15. Brandname shoppers....is it really worth all the money for a sign on your chest?
16.MP3 Players -- lets get even more NON-Personal with each other.
17. Designer Pets -- Just saw Labradoodle, Labradane, Cockapoo....who spends money on that?
18. Wearing Heels with Jeans....Boots and Tennis Folks!
19. People who cannot leave their house without make-up on -- What happened to natural beauty?
20. Grocery carts with a funky wheel
21. BAD ENGLISH! Your American! Speak Like One!
22. Not replacing the toilet paper role ---now your asking for it!!
23. Realizing there is no toilet paper....not a happy camper!
24. Speed Bumps!
25. People who don't creep or attempt to turn into oncoming traffic. They would rather wait for the turn arrow!
26. Automated Phone Service -- I just want to talk to a REAL person please!
27. Promises -- knowing you won't keep them.
28. I am NOT a lesbian, please no touching without asking.
29. Animal Rights Activists -- All words - no smarts!
30. Vegetarians -- The ones that do it for the cows with "feelings."
31. People who forget to turn their brights off -- I hope I hit you one day!
32. Stepping in wet stuff with your socks on
33. Wearing your spurs when you are NOT going riding -- Boosting the EGO!
34. People that park way to close to you -- scratch and dent sale!!
35. People who always seem to be sick
36. Having to repeat myself -- over, and over, and over!
Hmmm..this is a start. I am sure there will be more later! Look for part 2 Later!
1. I DON'T want to listen to you chew
2. Ring my room phone one more time -- I'll deck ya!
3. I took the time to say "hi" to you....at least acknowledge my existence please!
4. I am not responsible for your garbage, dishes, laundry, etc! Get a MOM!
5. The broom is not unisex operational...use it!
6. Turn the lights off if your not using them
7. Do not POKE me! I am not your fun doll!
8. Your boyfriend is not your commandable barbie!
9. Even worse....your boyfriend is not my "girlfriend" --stop trying to be!
10. Cigarrette Smoke....need I say more
11. People who don't flush
12. Cigars on a daily basis ... now really?
13. Dry Counties -- It's Wet! We should be able to drink it!
14. Is it really that hard to put the toilet seat down?
15. Brandname shoppers....is it really worth all the money for a sign on your chest?
16.MP3 Players -- lets get even more NON-Personal with each other.
17. Designer Pets -- Just saw Labradoodle, Labradane, Cockapoo....who spends money on that?
18. Wearing Heels with Jeans....Boots and Tennis Folks!
19. People who cannot leave their house without make-up on -- What happened to natural beauty?
20. Grocery carts with a funky wheel
21. BAD ENGLISH! Your American! Speak Like One!
22. Not replacing the toilet paper role ---now your asking for it!!
23. Realizing there is no toilet paper....not a happy camper!
24. Speed Bumps!
25. People who don't creep or attempt to turn into oncoming traffic. They would rather wait for the turn arrow!
26. Automated Phone Service -- I just want to talk to a REAL person please!
27. Promises -- knowing you won't keep them.
28. I am NOT a lesbian, please no touching without asking.
29. Animal Rights Activists -- All words - no smarts!
30. Vegetarians -- The ones that do it for the cows with "feelings."
31. People who forget to turn their brights off -- I hope I hit you one day!
32. Stepping in wet stuff with your socks on
33. Wearing your spurs when you are NOT going riding -- Boosting the EGO!
34. People that park way to close to you -- scratch and dent sale!!
35. People who always seem to be sick
36. Having to repeat myself -- over, and over, and over!
Hmmm..this is a start. I am sure there will be more later! Look for part 2 Later!
Monday, February 5, 2007
An Evening of Defeat....
I'm going to say this very quickly to spare myself the sadness. "The Bears lost the Superbowl."
Ok, now that that is over....I can return to normalcy. My evening last night was spent cheerfully at my girlfriends superbowl party. Being on a health kick, I provided the attending fans with a bag of beautiful red grapes and fresh cut pineapple. (All of which were and absolute treat to all attending) The eveing started out great...exciting first quarter, sloppy rain drenched muscle men, great commercials, food, and the puppy. During the losing quarters I found myself curious wondering if all that drenched spandex was causing any chaffing or pimples.....I Sure hope so!
Oh yes, the puppy. Me, the ALWAYS cold one, made sure to bring my favorite slippers. Fuzzy, yellow, sailor duck slippers to keep my feet warm. The beagle puppy, so sweetly named "Clover" was sure my fuzzy slippers were her new nemesis. I spent the entire evening pleasuring the puppy while watching my hometeam accept defeat. This was definitely the only pleasure I found that night.
The question of the day....When you attend a sporting party to cheer on your team and they do not "show up," what do you do then?
Feeling the pain of defeat as early as the 3rd quarter, I had to sustain my self with beer for my sorrows and the 25 teeth intent on disabling my super sailor duck laden tootsies. While doing this, I am pretty sure I was thankning god that there were no HARD CORE Indy fans in my presence that felt like stabbing the sword even deeper. I survived anyway...it was all bearable.
This wasn't meant to last I found out however. As I returned to my room that evening the roomie had retuned home from a weekend at home. An Illini native herself and a traitor to her home team, she had managed to post that damned blue horseshoe and the final score of the game....EVERYWHERE!
Today...I accept defeat! I realize we lost, and I can even feel good that Indy made mistakes too, but, I also know this.... I know we can't take it all back....but undeniably...
THERE IS ALWAYS NEXT YEAR!
Ok, now that that is over....I can return to normalcy. My evening last night was spent cheerfully at my girlfriends superbowl party. Being on a health kick, I provided the attending fans with a bag of beautiful red grapes and fresh cut pineapple. (All of which were and absolute treat to all attending) The eveing started out great...exciting first quarter, sloppy rain drenched muscle men, great commercials, food, and the puppy. During the losing quarters I found myself curious wondering if all that drenched spandex was causing any chaffing or pimples.....I Sure hope so!
Oh yes, the puppy. Me, the ALWAYS cold one, made sure to bring my favorite slippers. Fuzzy, yellow, sailor duck slippers to keep my feet warm. The beagle puppy, so sweetly named "Clover" was sure my fuzzy slippers were her new nemesis. I spent the entire evening pleasuring the puppy while watching my hometeam accept defeat. This was definitely the only pleasure I found that night.
The question of the day....When you attend a sporting party to cheer on your team and they do not "show up," what do you do then?
Feeling the pain of defeat as early as the 3rd quarter, I had to sustain my self with beer for my sorrows and the 25 teeth intent on disabling my super sailor duck laden tootsies. While doing this, I am pretty sure I was thankning god that there were no HARD CORE Indy fans in my presence that felt like stabbing the sword even deeper. I survived anyway...it was all bearable.
This wasn't meant to last I found out however. As I returned to my room that evening the roomie had retuned home from a weekend at home. An Illini native herself and a traitor to her home team, she had managed to post that damned blue horseshoe and the final score of the game....EVERYWHERE!
Today...I accept defeat! I realize we lost, and I can even feel good that Indy made mistakes too, but, I also know this.... I know we can't take it all back....but undeniably...
THERE IS ALWAYS NEXT YEAR!
Friday, February 2, 2007
Tonight the drink is on......
Tonight is a night of socializing, friends, GREAT Bordertown music, and of course the ever indulgent beverage pumped full o' barley. Sounds like a great night ....right?
Well....enter the poor college girl. The one, whom if she ever learned to balance a checkbook, could be out partying with her "crowd." I can see it already.... Leah lookin hot, Caleb being social, ahhh and the smell of people, perfume, and sweat! Dancin', shakin', drinkin'..... a true blast ... until early morning arrives and I have to go to work all day.
There are those girls out there....you know, the ones that show up without a penny and guys buy their drinks left and right hoping for a special moment with that girl. I have ever wondered...what keeps me from that category? I mean... I look decent (maybe not a model, but well worth at least one beer...), I smile (ALOT), and I can be flirty....so why am I not worth a beer -- DAMMIT!
I guess this question can be answered very easily....us country raised good girls never think we are worth that one cup o' free barley hops because we were raised to be just that...good girls! We shouldn't have to flash a hint of anything and we should be responsible and buy our own stuff unless on a "date." Wow, were we dillusional!
A few years ago...my self esteem was just that! DARING! I looked HOT and I demanded a drink...I didn't wait for anyone... Today, may age has hit me and my thighs have too.... But I am not letting that hold me back...
Today is the dawn of a new day! From now on, when I go out with the gang for some shakin', groovin', socializin', and drinkin'.....I will NOT pony up that almighty dollar!
Dear bartender....the drink is on him!
Well....enter the poor college girl. The one, whom if she ever learned to balance a checkbook, could be out partying with her "crowd." I can see it already.... Leah lookin hot, Caleb being social, ahhh and the smell of people, perfume, and sweat! Dancin', shakin', drinkin'..... a true blast ... until early morning arrives and I have to go to work all day.
There are those girls out there....you know, the ones that show up without a penny and guys buy their drinks left and right hoping for a special moment with that girl. I have ever wondered...what keeps me from that category? I mean... I look decent (maybe not a model, but well worth at least one beer...), I smile (ALOT), and I can be flirty....so why am I not worth a beer -- DAMMIT!
I guess this question can be answered very easily....us country raised good girls never think we are worth that one cup o' free barley hops because we were raised to be just that...good girls! We shouldn't have to flash a hint of anything and we should be responsible and buy our own stuff unless on a "date." Wow, were we dillusional!
A few years ago...my self esteem was just that! DARING! I looked HOT and I demanded a drink...I didn't wait for anyone... Today, may age has hit me and my thighs have too.... But I am not letting that hold me back...
Today is the dawn of a new day! From now on, when I go out with the gang for some shakin', groovin', socializin', and drinkin'.....I will NOT pony up that almighty dollar!
Dear bartender....the drink is on him!
Thursday, February 1, 2007
The Abuse from My Panties....
Sounds strange, doesn't it...That an item that all women wear everyday could be abusive?
Today, as I was admiring my physique in my matching baby blue bra and panty set in my full length mirror I felt BEAUTIFUL! I couldn't decide if it was from my recent workouts that seemed to make my abs look better than I typically remember them, or my color coding skills, but I felt pretty! It was an amazing feeling to start my day off with.
All this got me to thinkning about my panties. I am not a typical young woman that pays a fortune from designers to have lace, beaded, silk, thong, bikini, g-string, or otherwise fancy underwear. I like what I like, and that is really all that matters. I mean, I have that special panty for that AMAZING evening out or for a FANTASTIC date (Not that those get out much......), but shouldn't one feel sexy in their panties everyday?
Anyways, back to admiring my womanly figure in the mirror and feeling beautiful.... I carried on throughout that day in fashion. I had a big smile on my face and endured my morning feeling just as hot on the outside as I was feeling on the inside. Then it happened....
This afternoon, after an amazing lunch with the girls, I came home to the roomie flipping channels. Having nothing to do, I managed to entice my gossip and talk show neglected mind a bit. No more than a few seconds later there was this dark fellow, a doctor they say, bringing women a cure for cellulite ...(which they continuallly called "cell-yoo-leete"). Maybe that is the way it is supposed to be pronounced but it drove me nuts!
Anyways, this fellow continued talking about his methods for curing cellulite and procedures and expenses when he hit one big YEHAA!
1. Skinny women get cellulite most often, not those of us, like myself, harboring a few extra pounds
I'm like ... yes! Those super skinny super models that all the boys pine over..... HELLO CELLULITE!! There is hope for all us "normal" women! Pardon my rejoicing.....
Then this unusal looking fellow hit a big --- No WAY! You must be kidding.....
2. The number one cause of "dimples" in ones skin is their precious panties!
I was shocked! They literally, were implying that the soft, sensual item that lies so close to my skin and makes me feel so womanly and sexy could cause "dimples!" I was mortified! I will never spend too much on panties ever again!! Ok, well that may not be true. Apparently, I can wear the boyshorts with lace around the legs instead of elastic, but honestly.....I have never felt PRETTY or SEXY in a pair of those..... And I will never spend money on something that intimate that I don't feel sexy in! And really --- how comfortable can those really be on a girl who lives in blue jeans?
So...following the good doctors ideas I have come to this conclusion...
Hello Commando! (OK -- not 24 hours commando...) Let's just say my bed and my pj pants are going to get a lot closer to me nowadays that they ever were before..... When the day is over, the panties can enjoy their night off...Well, unless those special panties are out on a romp for an amazing night out on the town!
Today, as I was admiring my physique in my matching baby blue bra and panty set in my full length mirror I felt BEAUTIFUL! I couldn't decide if it was from my recent workouts that seemed to make my abs look better than I typically remember them, or my color coding skills, but I felt pretty! It was an amazing feeling to start my day off with.
All this got me to thinkning about my panties. I am not a typical young woman that pays a fortune from designers to have lace, beaded, silk, thong, bikini, g-string, or otherwise fancy underwear. I like what I like, and that is really all that matters. I mean, I have that special panty for that AMAZING evening out or for a FANTASTIC date (Not that those get out much......), but shouldn't one feel sexy in their panties everyday?
Anyways, back to admiring my womanly figure in the mirror and feeling beautiful.... I carried on throughout that day in fashion. I had a big smile on my face and endured my morning feeling just as hot on the outside as I was feeling on the inside. Then it happened....
This afternoon, after an amazing lunch with the girls, I came home to the roomie flipping channels. Having nothing to do, I managed to entice my gossip and talk show neglected mind a bit. No more than a few seconds later there was this dark fellow, a doctor they say, bringing women a cure for cellulite ...(which they continuallly called "cell-yoo-leete"). Maybe that is the way it is supposed to be pronounced but it drove me nuts!
Anyways, this fellow continued talking about his methods for curing cellulite and procedures and expenses when he hit one big YEHAA!
1. Skinny women get cellulite most often, not those of us, like myself, harboring a few extra pounds
I'm like ... yes! Those super skinny super models that all the boys pine over..... HELLO CELLULITE!! There is hope for all us "normal" women! Pardon my rejoicing.....
Then this unusal looking fellow hit a big --- No WAY! You must be kidding.....
2. The number one cause of "dimples" in ones skin is their precious panties!
I was shocked! They literally, were implying that the soft, sensual item that lies so close to my skin and makes me feel so womanly and sexy could cause "dimples!" I was mortified! I will never spend too much on panties ever again!! Ok, well that may not be true. Apparently, I can wear the boyshorts with lace around the legs instead of elastic, but honestly.....I have never felt PRETTY or SEXY in a pair of those..... And I will never spend money on something that intimate that I don't feel sexy in! And really --- how comfortable can those really be on a girl who lives in blue jeans?
So...following the good doctors ideas I have come to this conclusion...
Hello Commando! (OK -- not 24 hours commando...) Let's just say my bed and my pj pants are going to get a lot closer to me nowadays that they ever were before..... When the day is over, the panties can enjoy their night off...Well, unless those special panties are out on a romp for an amazing night out on the town!
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