Because it's been 4 months and now...

Yes, that's right. It has been four months since I took the proud walk down the graduation aisle way and now I am realizing just how badly I want to go back there...right now!

I always assumed that moving away and playing "adult" would be just as easy as it was to move away and play "college student," but holy hell was I wrong. Wrong like the spring tulips popping up before that last below zero frost of the winter finally succumbs. I moved in to a wonderful apartment complex full of young co-eds just like me. Fresh cut flowers out of school or mom and dads house. I figured it would be easy to smooze right into instant friends, late night parties in Mainstrasse, ABC finale' girl parties, and workout buddies. Instead it was quiet..way too quiet. A place where everybody shuts their doors and only chit chats when they are outside. It's kinda hard to hold a conversation when it is snowing outside....

I remember being at school, moving in with the pony, and meeting all kinds of wonderful young college coeds. Instant Friends! I remember if I was worried about something or couldn't quite find something there was always soemone who had experienced the same thing or knew someone who did. And being 500 miles away I always knew someone who could help me out in a bind. All this makes me realize why there are students who drop out of college when they leave home and why college grads never leave their hometown -- SCARED SHITLESS! Straight and to the Point. Now a days if I want to find something I rely on my good ole' TomTom1 to get there in one piece. And my beloeved foo foo to keep me company.

It is way difficult leaving all of your friends and family behind to "grow-up" and be the "adult." I keep wondering where Big Al is DJ'ing on Friday night so I can go hang with the guys and looking for Jamie or Kelly to call and host a girls night out or movie marathon. Waiting for Paul to call and say "Hey, you should come out here...." And, oh, How I miss the Fried Pickle and Beer Fridays with Christina and Chuck, and Los Portales, the Barn, the sweat and dirt, ahhh I just miss it all.....Most of all, I just miss hanging with Mom and Dad and little bro. I miss riding and training sessions with mom. Cleaning horse stalls at home. Watching dad feed the fish pond while the ravenous beasts compete for tiny little minnows. Mowing the yard and the smell of fresh cut grass, and the horse shows, the feel of competition. I miss it all!

These days it is so much more simple. Me and my foo foo. Realizing I settled for way to little in my first job, picking up a second job so I can tap into my "dream job", still missing the pony, sweat, and dirt; and prying my way into meeting people that are like me (it is way harder than it looks or I am just wierd...).

The summer however is already perking up! I get roomie this weekend!! Adele moves in today with the gerbil family and her LARGE foo foo "Roo". My foo foo will finally has a new friend to play with, and my heart will be at ease. I have been surrounded by way too much testosterone lately or overly hormonal girls, I will be so good to have a girl around again:) Not to mention finally "my friend" and not somebody elses. A friend to talk relationships and horses with, to walk the dogs and gossip with...a girl friend...again:) Yes, summer is already looking up...