Hello My Name Is ..., and I am a habitual PACKRAT!

I have heard the horror stories and other women complain, joke, and laugh about the subject of male packrats, but I was sure I would never be one of them. I am sure you all have your own stories to add as well...You know, that husband that refuses to part with his favorite sweatpants with the GIGANTIC hole in the crotch because "baby, they are my favorites" or their favorite pair of undies that are so hole ridden and worn that they hardly serve their purpose anymore, oh, and lets not forget about all those pairs of socks with holes in the soles! Please tell me the functionality of any of these items, other than the fact that 5, 10, or 30 years ago that they were new and you LOVED them dearly and wore the stuffins' out of em'

I was pretty sure that I was safe from this kind of torture, until recent events allowed me to add to my own collection of stories involving that special man and the items he refuses to part with. Packrat hell has entered my life in the form of ratty old stained cut up t-shirts and many other unspeakables! I am sure somewhere up in heaven the cotton fairy is in tears over the damaging reputation she is getting by these items that continue to be paraded around in public. You know way up there that she sees everything...even if it is concealed under another shirt or hidden within a shoe...she sees EVERYTHING!

I have yet to figure out why men (and women sometimes...I guess in rare cases) grasp onto these items and feel so connected to them that a proper burial within a garbage bag or burning bin are so traumatic. I guess because I am OCD and prefer order that I will never continuously waste laundry money or closet space on a shirt or any other wearable that has a hole in it. What function can that item ever really have after the cotton has given way and seams begin to unravel? Is it really so special just because it has your name on it, you won your first game in it, or it snagged you your first date, kiss, or grandslam.... FYI: Take a picture, it lasts LONGER, not to mention that the cotton fairy wants her material back!

For now I will wait patiently as you continue to waste laundry money, closet space, and still wear these absolute mockeries of real clothing, but you just wait-women are really sneaky creatures and when your not looking...we will secretly bury them for you and will probably not even hint that we did:) In all respect we are doing you a favor, you should be thanking us for our assistance in curing your packratisms.